@____@ Confusions

Aug 6 2:48AM

~whoa~ It's been a while since my last entry...
I guess I can't help it.
My mind is flying out of nowhere these past few days @___@
And I was goin to have an entry one of those times but eventually I forgot about it.
>_> or I was scared to write it. not sure =x

Ah yeah I remember~
*found the draft* xD
It's about my being scared. lol
Maybe coz my mind is off to somewhere that time and I think it's the same as now.
There are thoughts that are confusing me and sometimes it scares me to write it down.
Is it ok to think about those thoughts? >_>
I don't really know. It's just there, lurking in my mind.
Dx I'm trying not to think about them, but they just pop up. What does this mean?
I'm unease. Err~ it sucks.... x_x

How can I make them go away?
*sighs* It makes me hard to sleep either x__x

Oh well, I cant stay long~ 3:04AM
gotta sleep... night night...
Err, I hope those thoughts won't reach me in my dreams...

Breathe xD

July 28 10:28PM

*sighs* I wanna write many things but~

Oh well it's raining hard and ~ something random xD

"Breathe"

I've been driving for an hour
Just talking to the rain
You say I've been driving you crazy
and its keeping you away
So just give me one good reason
Tell me why I should stay
'Cause I don't wanna waste another moment
in saying things we never meant to say

And I take it just a little bit
I, hold my breath and count to ten
I, I've been waiting for a chance to let you in

If I just breathe
Let it fill the space between
I'll know everything is alright
Breathe
Every little piece of me
You'll see
Everything is alright
If I just breathe

Well it's all so overrated
In not saying how you feel
So you end up watching chances fade
And wondering what's real

And I give you just a little time
I, wonder if you realize
I've been waiting till I see it in your eyes

If I just breathe
Let it fill the space between
I'll know everything is alright
Breathe,
Every little piece of me
You'll see
Everything is alright
If I just breathe
Breathe

So I whisper in the dark,
Hoping you hear me
Do you hear me?

If I just breathe
Let it fill the space between
I'll know everything is alright
Breathe,
Every little piece of me
You'll see
Everything is alright
Everything is alright I just breathe... breathe

I've been driving for an hour
Just talking to the rain~

It's been a while since i heard this song... btw... thanks again dreameh ^__^

Idk~ there is something with this song.
It feels like telling me a lot of things~
just like the other song I wanna post.

but for now i just wanna listen to it ...

Ouch~ x.x

July 23 10:45PM

another night... and I can't eat well x__x

~ I bit my lip, again. Ouch~ T_T

Normally, I accidentally bite through my lip like 3 times every month. I thought this month would be different coz it's almost over and there, first time in July, I bit my lip x.x

They say, if one accidentally bit his/her lip, someone might be thinking about him/her... >.> and a friend said, there must be tons of people thinking of me...

How I wish that is true~ cause it's really painful

Ironically~ everytime it happens to me, I am the one thinking about them >.> so that they will bite their lips too >=D hahah... nah, J'kidding

But good thing, it always reminds me of my friends ^__^

I'll ignore the pain just for them.

Who am I?

July 21 5:39PM

Hahah- Funny~ I started bloggin without properly introducing myself...

FYI, I am Li...

errr...before anything else, lemme ask you something~

Has anyone ever asked you~ Who you are? Where do you came from? What made you to be you? What are your likes and dislikes?

Me~ Im getting those questions everyday. It's not like I'm always meeting somebody who is asking me those, or getting stuck in traffic on a bus or rush hour in a train and caught in a chat with someone, or be in Starbucks and the like where you can meet very talkative strangers.

~ and I ain't talkative myself(opps, why I'm talking now o.o)

But something or someone in my mind ask me the same questions. Most likely, every nerve in my body is clogged with those questions that I, myself can't answer. If someone asked me those, I'll stop for a second, then then pause for another minute, then I'll start talking without thinking and the conversation will lead into nowhere, but my autobiography, like sitting and watching a long movie...

and then a follow up question will pop up in my head~ Is this really me? or this is who i was...if it is, then who am I now?

I don't know if someone out there wants to know me, but I, myself want to know. You too might want to know who you really are, right? or you already know >__>
It's not as simple as saying my name and stating where I live~ gawd, if someone wants those, i might just show my ID.

quoted from a japanese monologue~ no, a dialogue of someone between she and herself

I was once a "goal"-oriented person, meaning I set things as goal for myself, moving straight forward with confidence.

If I want something, and my mind is set for it, I will get it.

Simple, eh? Yeah, I admire that. Living in a life without hesitations.

I thought the world was that easy. How naive~

I heard that poem some time in late January or early February when I was in 5th grade. It was a soft voice, warm, and felt like whispers to my soul. Made me feel want to hear that poem once again. It was in my native language, and still i can clearly hear it in my mind. I didn't know the meaning of that poem that time. It was something that caught my interest without knowing what it was. Well I didn't bother to look for it either.

As time pass by and my awareness of the world grew bigger, I started to feel the ripples of the poem to my soul.

Was it consuming me?

or I was just beginning to understand what it meant to me?

Suspicions grew to the point I can no longer see myself. It's like when I'm looking at the mirror, I'm seeing a different person~

I don't intend to confuse anyone. I don't know if I wrote it correctly either.As you can see~ it is confusing, as well as me. That is how it is being the real me.

Sometimes I can't help but feel I'm just waiting for something or someone that will make a difference, that will make me realize who I am. Someone who will find...

....me.

Well, I'll wait~ even if it will take forever...

"Shizukana Yoru ni" is quite a song xD...

karaoke! xD

July 21 1:39AM

just got home... so tired x___x

left at around 6PM to attend mass...
had dinner in a chinese restaurant...
we watched hancock(2nd time for me >_>)... then karaoke til 1AM


<_< im feeling this is my online journal now... xD oh well, thats fine...
not too many can see this...
but for now ~ i need to rest...

hmm.. i think i have something to post, but i kinda forgot it... ill think of it again later xD...

,__, imma hungreh

>_______> no food

all of us slept very late last night... and here i am, woke up early... i hope mom will wake up now ...


hmm .. how do i edit this time thingy below...?
its kinda 9:44AM here xD

Anata wo matteru no

Hmm.. first post...

...

...

gahhh.. i cant think ...
Q__Q

oh well...
hmm it’s Saturday ... and it’s been hell of a week >_>

trying to relax from pain of stress, can’t have good sleep either. i can’t get my mind off from something that is haunting me every night. ...

(reminds me not to drink coffee again ... hahah)

thoughts just pop up... non-stop... like they’re finding their way out through me...

nothing to do... i re-watched a very special anime... GS~ x3

most of my IRL friends don’t like it, but it reminds me of me and my sister watching together every 5PM after school when we were still in high school... haha and my father always yell at us to turn the channel on news~ and we kinda always tell him that there were no news during 5PM

as i watched~ i bumped into a song... x3 this is so relaxing

~thanks for the song, dreameh

Anata wo matteru no....

named my blog from its first verse... well those who know me, know why x3

~and... something worth sharing for ^_________^ i read this a couple of times the first time it was shared to me... really touchie =3 thnks again...hehe reminds me of somethin ^__^

http://www.animalliberationfront.com/Saints/Authors/Stories/TwoHorses.htm